Venus And Saturn In Hard Or Growth Aspect
IIf Venus and Saturn in your birthchart form one of the hard aspects, like a conjunction, square, semi-square or an opposition, you have my sympathy. Unless they are dealt with constructively, these aspects certainly are some of the most difficult ones that can be found anywhere. Yet, when encountered with a new understanding of what is at stake, a spirit of exploration and a willingness to learn, they can be turned into something beneficial, rewarding and positive. My observations and notes on this theme may also be of interest to you if your Venus is in Capricorn or the tenth house, the natural home of Capricorn. This has a similar effect to a Venus/Saturn conjunction. The same is true for those born on the 26th of any month. 2 = Moon + 6 = Venus = 8 Saturn
This chapter of the Astro Files is dedicated to all who are suffering from one of these aspects. No matter what traditional astrology used to say about their severity, it is true that they can and frequently do bring considerable amounts of struggling into the lives of those affected by them. Fortunately, it is by now coming ever clearer that in truth all struggles only come into our lives, so that we may evolve and grow. They are meant to help us become more spiritually aware and better people who are capable of making some genuine evolutionary progress in their present lifetime.
The Universe is constantly testing us to assess the degree of our spiritual maturity. This is especially true for the trials that arise in the areas of our lives influenced by the hard Sun/Saturn aspects. However, if we willingly accept Saturn as our teacher und buckle down to doing the required work on our character, enormous soul growth will be ours through a renewed understanding of our own nature and the purpose and meaning of our present existence and all life. Alas, for as long as the soul still believes that it is struggling against unseen and unknown factors in its character make-up and life lessons, suffering seems to be unavoidable. Take it from me, the whole thing can be turned round and transformed into a success story. To understand this, we need to reach out a bit further.
In days gone by, the hard aspects had an exceedingly poor reputation because the time had not yet come for recognising their true value. The best that was known about them then was that they were an indication that the person, in whose chart they were found, was a thrifty and cautious soul. Fortunately, modern astrologers look at all difficult aspects with different eyes. We appreciate that in the part of our chart such aspects affect, a considerable inner struggle initially always takes place. However, through these conflicts dynamic spiritual growth can be achieved during this lifetime, if we are willing to pay attention to what the difficulties in our life are trying to teach us. The first step towards resolving any conflict is a growing inner awareness and understanding that everything that is in our life has purpose and meaning. The next and equally important step is trying to find out what our difficulties are trying to teach us.
The contacts between Venus and Saturn can be so painful and difficult to handle – especially for those who are not usually given to introversion and self-examination – that they are in need of some help. This is why these notes came into being. I find it helpful to know that in truth aspects of this nature are meant to be teach us something and help us grow into spiritually more aware and better people. In the area of our life that is affected by them we have to struggle and stretch. Thus, when considered from a spiritual perspective it comes clear that as soon as they are handled in the right manner, they can lead to some dynamic growth. Wise ones know that for them it is possible to go far during their presents lifetime. That’s why they willingly subject themselves to the work these aspects demand from them.
The Venus/Saturn contact brings many painful personal relationships into the lives of both genders. Because of this its traditional interpretations have been ones of failure and sorrow in love and/or marriage that leaves those experiencing them with residues of bitterness, disillusionment, fear and a great sensitivity to rejection. This however, is only accurate on the surface of things. As always, there is more to this than meets the eye. For many whose life is affected by one of the hard Venus/Saturn aspects, when they have survived their first romantic failures, all further encounters are likely to be coloured by a certain aloofness and a lack of trust that is caused by the subconscious fear of failing again. As a rule, there is at least one painful failure in matters of the heart. With understanding and compassion for ourselves, this can later be used as a key for unlocking the patterns of behaviour, so typical of this aspect. A further, even more important, key to understanding it is to be found in our childhood, in our relationship with our parents, especially the one of the opposite sex.
These aspects have special significance for our capacity of being happy in the conventional sense, i.e. to be at peace, in harmony with ourselves and the environment. They strike at our happiness and that’s why they are so painful. We frequently feel a nagging discontent from within, a general feeling that we shall never be able to be happy or to get any true pleasure from life. In a woman, the Venus/Saturn contacts strike at her basic attitude towards her femininity and her feelings of her own worth as a woman. As they touch the very heart of woman and causes her to fear her own femininity, if left not understood and therefore unattended, they are bound to test and try her to her limits in the course of a whole lifetime. Until she comes to terms with and sets about consciously resolving the issues involved she is likely to continue to feel unattractive and inferior to the women around her.
Her inner confidence ob being as loving, lovable and attractive as any woman is sapped away. Yes indeed, she has all those all those qualities but unfortunately cannot recognise them within herself. It always takes one, to know one; for good or ill, we can only see in others what is also within us. It is because of the already mentioned mirror effect that the woman with this aspect can see all these qualities in others, but not in herself. If only she already knew that what she admires in them is also within her; and that all she needs to do is to bring it into the open, i.e. to the surface of her consciousness. Alas though, for as long as she is totally unaware, she will be suffering intensely, and that is the purpose of the exercise. She is going to learn an important lesson through her suffering, if she will but listen. Her pain is likely to cause her a long and hard struggle, until she recognises what she is being asked to do. Wherever Saturn is involved, other people’s experiences will not do; we have to gather our own. In spite of the fact that the world around her may well be able to see her as a real woman, for a long time she herself will be unable to do the same.
How Does The Growth Venus/Saturn Aspect Affect Men?
It may cause in him a severe discolouring of his basic attitude towards women. It may be argued – by the more esoterically inclined – that personal relationships are of minor importance, but this simply is not true. Our relationships are of great importance; only through them can we grow and learn. Because of the above mentioned mirror effect, our personal relationships are vital on the path to self-knowledge and self-development. It is all too easy to allow one’s constant sense of loneliness and rejection to ruin one’s life; but help can be found, if we are willing to search for it. A great deal can be achieved once we begin to understand what it is that we are looking for.
The influence of this aspect is felt most sharply and painfully in what ought to be our most intimate relationships. It is in the private recesses of our bedroom that it can take its most painful toll. We may feel as if we suffered from sexual inhibitions. However, it should help to put things into perspective when we find out that, what is commonly known as frigidity is nothing but a manifestation of the varying degrees of sexual defensiveness, caused by fear. It is plain to see that the ‘sorrow in love’ this brings, cannot be overcome unless we can learn to be utterly honest with ourselves. It is essential to look into these issues with love and compassion for ourselves and our own suffering. Naturally, there will be obstacles, for it seems that, regardless how much we want to express ourselves emotionally and sexually, we harbour an equally intense unconscious fear, seemingly demanding defence at all costs.
In fine balance to the great unhappiness and isolation all this causes is the relief that is felt when one finally finds out that one’s suffering did not happen perchance and that it did not come into one’s life without good reason. A certain amount of peace comes straight away when one accepts that everything that is in our life has purpose and meaning and that any kind of suffering is no exception to this rule, because it is trying to teach us something. The most vital step on any journey of discovery and healing is always the recognition that there is a way out; that indeed there is meant to be one; and that we too carry within the greatest potential for conducting deep, meaningful and permanent relationships. The resolution of the problems we experienced in the past and the pot of gold that truly is waiting for us at the end of the rainbow, as always, is an inner one.
Wise ones who willingly work on themselves and get in touch with this part of themselves, the mysteries of union is likely to be placed before them; it comes within their grasp. Anyone who does this work is capable of drawing into their lives the ideal relationship, which they have always dreamt of but had given up hope that it was ever possible between human beings. Such a love is based on complete understanding, wisdom and on free choice, rather than mutual need. This more than makes up for the fact that during the first part of their lives they missed much because they were somehow forced by circumstances beyond their control to spend it without a real companion and without true companionship, without having the slightest idea that all along within them they also held the key to a relationship that will be very real and may last, quite literally, forever.
The Emotional Pain Of Rejection
We are sure to have endured more than a fair share of emotional pain and rejection in our early years. This could have been of an obvious kind, such as the home where nobody touches or extends any overt display of affection or warmth to another. But, some of the manifestations can be more subtle variations on the same theme. There could have been plenty of material display and many gifts could have been given, great efforts could have been made to provide physical comfort, but no real recognition of us as an individual in our own right or love in a straightforward manner will have come our way. We may have had parents who loved us because we were their child, but they did not actually like us in a way which appreciated our unique individuality.
This is particular common among people who have children merely because it’s the accepted thing to do, but who unconsciously resent the responsibility. Whichever way it expressed itself, there will have been a lack of real love in the home. There could also have been unconscious rivalry or hostility against us from one or both parents. People from such backgrounds, as soon as they are old enough to stand on their own feet, usually are better off away from home, regardless of how much guilt and havoc this may create. The longer we stay in the parental nest, the greater our sense of inadequacy will be in later life and the more difficult the disentanglement from this emotional jungle is going to be.
Because there was so little genuine love and affection in our childhood, our capacity for expressing, for giving and receiving real affection has been cramped and twisted. Later in life, when we enter into male/female relationships, we have grown so accustomed to our defences that we find it impossible to untwist ourselves, in spite of feeling a deep and almost compulsive need to love and to be loved. But, because of our outer coolness and aloofness it becomes nearly impossible to express ourselves. We often have the feeling of being unloved and find it difficult to express love ourselves. We only seem to be able to do so in that slightly demanding, sometimes possessive, discontented, yet painfully sensitive and vulnerable manner.
This would not be surprising in three of four year old children, but it certainly is in adults. And yet, the only reason for behaving this way is because the world of our affections has been frozen. It has remained in a childlike and awkward state, whereas the rest of our character, including our defence mechanisms, has grown up around it. As a result, we may develop highly sophisticated ways in our search for happiness and love which does not bring pain. But, we never seem to succeed because our emotional nature in this area of our life is still that of a child.
Most of us are familiar with the behaviour of the child who, because it fears being unwanted and rejected, it can only express its need for affection through destructive actions. In its despair, it may resort to attempts at inflicting pain, or sulking and weeping. When we transfer this rather extreme picture to an adult body and mind, when we include the skill of displaying the surface coolness we developed over the years, then we hold the key to unlocking the peculiar and often misunderstood, by ourselves and those around us, emotional nature. It goes without saying that not all people with this aspect behave exactly like this. But, if we are absolutely honest with ourselves, we will be able to see that there is a touch of this quality within us, although it could be beautifully masked or outweighed by more self-expressive factors.
It is particularly rare to find men who express their vulnerability in this area of their life, as it is far less acceptable for a man to admit that he is afraid of being unloved. As a result, he is more likely to display the typically Saturnian exterior, which is a coldness that can extend to heartlessness. callousness towards the emotional pain of others, and a suspicious and jealous nature that expects to be betrayed eventually, in spite of constant reassurances. Yet, he may display a deep and unshakeable loyalty to a partner who may be abusive, dependent or in other ways the least deserving of objects. It is important to remember that these are people whose emotional growth in the realm of relationships has been stunted in childhood.
Bearing all this in mind, it is comparatively easy to see past the reputation this aspect has for saying that those afflicted by it are incapable of love. Furthermore, there is the need to understand that, what we usually call love, is nothing but the expression of need and sentiment. This must be observed and experienced in childhood to be convincing and since we are not familiar with the world of sentiment, we often feel awkward when confronted with it. For us, the idea of love is linked with sacrifice. Thus, we either avoid love entirely or make a sacrifice of ourselves or of our partner because we believe that’s what’s required from us.
By the way, I am not ashamed to admit to total ignorance of the correct motivations for wanting and having children when I had mine. I take comfort from the thought that, at childbearing age, hardly anyone will have the necessary awareness to appreciate that the child is being created through us, for we cannot create ourselves. How many know, at that age or any other, that our child is a unique spark of the Divine to be treasured and loved for its own individuality and not as an extension of ourselves? After all, we are here to learn and so I am grateful for the opportunity to find out so much in one single lifetime.
Happiest In The Competitive World Of Business
Until she becomes aware, the woman with this aspect is likely to be happiest in the competitive world of business, because here she really can excel. She may be driven to achievement because she genuinely loves work, responsibility and creative self-expression. Also, she feels that she cannot function properly in any feminine capacity, so that the masculine world becomes her only escape route. However, she is not a truly liberated woman, meaning one who has found her own centre and operates from there. Her real motivation is that she is frightened of her own womanhood, making her feel that she will always be a failure at it.
Within herself, she carries deep feelings of inferiority and unattractiveness, regardless of how physically appealing and attractive she may be. It is common to find such women in the world of the performing arts, as models, or as the modern equivalent of the courtesan, with perhaps less glamour than they enjoyed. For them, it is most important to be loved, admired, and thought of as beautiful. One can hardly call that liberation, for in truth it is an enslavement to fear. It is not for nothing that this aspect has the reputation of making a woman unpopular with her own sex. Because she despises and fears this sex within herself, she attracts the same from other women.
The prostitute is one extreme expression of this aspect. Because of the loneliness of this way of life, perhaps that is the most difficult one for a woman. The celibate spinster is at the opposite end of the spectrum, but they are not as opposite as they both would like to think. Each, in her own way, has found a way to avoid the pain of a deep emotional involvement without having to admit to herself that this is the true cause of her behaviour pattern. These two extremes bear a resemblance to the more typical woman with this aspect who chooses the role of the modern housewife. She has sold her soul and her dreams in exchange for the security and safety of a house, a car, and the guarantee of maintenance payments should her marriage fail. She may choose a partner not because she loves him, but because he is safe and cannot hurt her, as he cannot reach her more vulnerable feelings.
Surely, nothing can be more painful than one of these meaningless, loveless and joyless unions which, in truth, are not unions at all. At best, it will amount to a sharing of a roof, totally lacking that contact between two hearts, souls and spirits, which is the real purpose of marriage. When this has dragged on for too many years, it can be so utterly soul-destroying and lonely that it may finally release a well of courage we never thought we had inside, together with the wish to set ourselves free from our self-inflicted prison. If we do not want to destroy ourselves and we want to find the pot of gold at the end of this particular rainbow, which lies inside, it will become necessary to go in search of what is rightfully ours.
However, when we have learnt to love and appreciate ourselves for what we truly are, we shall also realise that we have deserved and earned a truly loving union with another, all the more so because we deprived ourselves for such a long time through our own ignorance. If we do not seize this opportunity, there will always be another lifetime. But beware, because if left unattended during this one, the task could be even more difficult to resolve. We shall have piled yet another layer of consciousness into our subconscious and the digging for gold will be tougher still. So, why not get to work? After all, the time is now.
Loving Saturn’s Way
A warning note doesn’t come amiss here, because it requires more from us than the mere satisfying of a personal need. As this is a love that cannot entertain any illusions, it is not surprising that so many people with this aspect are reluctant to pay what it demands from us. However, one does so to one’s detriment, as the rare and precious opportunity of developing the deepest side of our emotional nature, and to learn about the most meaningful aspects of relationships could have been ours, if only we had accepted what is being offered to us. There is no need for punishment to be meted out by the angry gods for those who choose to look the other way when Saturn demands his dues. Enduring the endless frustration and isolation of a meaningless life, means to pay more than enough.
In some cases, there can be over-compensation, which is highly frustrating because it is just as isolating. It is all too common for people with this aspect to follow relationship patterns in which the partner is a burden and emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically ‘inferior’ in some way. Women may put up with husbands and lovers whom they despise or who, in some way, are a constant source of unhappiness to them. Yet, they find it nearly impossible to let go and will offer any one of a hundred excuses for maintaining an unsatisfactory and unrewarding relationship with such men. One needs to be careful to avoid martyrdom of the self-imposed kind, as it is an all too common manifestation of this aspect. It is plain to see that it takes some real courage to tackle all this, so that something constructive can be made out of it, in the end. However, life can be so unpleasant for people with this aspect that, finally, they may well gain access to their inherent source of courage, and that is most helpful.
As in all contacts with Saturn, the most important point is the realisation that, when there is ‘sorrow in love’, it is not the blind hand of a cruel fate dishing this out to us. Instead, it is vital to accept the responsibility of having created this ourselves during other lifetimes, in spite of the fact that we not consciously aware of how. Undoubtedly, the Venus/Saturn contact can be a most distressing aspect, especially to those who are sensitive and romantic by nature. However, if we are willing to take an honest look at the subconscious motives within ourselves which created the patterns of our disappointments, we can learn a tremendous amount, not only about ourselves, but also about the nature of relationships. With time, this knowledge will develop into wisdom and understanding. It can be used to establish a fully conscious and free relationship with another with the barest minimum of unconscious projection and a maximum of honesty. Only when we have truly learnt to love in freedom, from the heart and not from the solar plexus, meaning emotional and needful love, can we appreciate the gift that has been offered to us.
A man with this aspect in his chart may not have quite as difficult a time as his female counterpart, but he will usually display a deep general mistrust of women. He may choose what he considers to be a ‘safe’ partner. He often makes a great deal of what he calls duty which, in reality, is more like a type of martyrdom. In some men, there is a great deal of resentment or hostility towards women, which is caused by fear. A man who is affected by this, generally dislikes any woman, if she as much as displays any degree of intelligence or individuality. Because he feels his security threatened by women like her, he prefers to keep his women under control. He may display the typical ‘male chauvinist pig’ behaviour, so despised by the Women’s Liberation Movement. Ironically, this movement, in its more extreme expression, is populated by women with the same aspect that causes the offensive male behaviour. Could it be that, with infinite gentleness and patience, the Universe informs us, yet again, that like attracts like?
Why Do Some Men Dislike Women?
It may be useful to point out here that the dislike of women in any man is an indication that he dislikes his own intuitive female side, his inner woman. His main lesson in this lifetime is to learn to appreciate and love this part of himself, because for as long as he insists on operating purely on his logical faculties, his feeling and intuitive side will be blocked. As a result, he will find it impossible to understand women and their motivations. Yet, as his life progresses, opportunities are always being offered to him for learning to appreciate and love women and their ways, just the way they are. And with ever increasing awareness of what is at stake for him, he will find this quite achievable.
Since these feelings come from the subconscious, if he did not find out what is at the root of his problems, he could be going through a whole lifetime disliking and despising women, secretly or openly, without ever discovering why. What a shame and a waste of a lifetime that would be when so much could be achieved, if only he knew. For as long as one refuses to recognise that one has a problem, one cannot learn from one’s experiences. That is why our man – driven by his unconscious behaviour patterns – will continue to push all female company from him, until finally he finds himself completely isolated and lonely. He will not have much chance of gaining anything from all this, as he is meant to, unless he finally becomes so desperate that he reaches out for help. It does come to anyone who asks for it, but without asking help cannot reach us. That is the very reason why I have decided to include this in your chart. I am doing it in spite of the fact that I normally no longer deal with the aspects, in order to avoid my charts from getting to be too long.
These days, many women will no longer allow themselves to be controlled by anyone, thanks be to God. When she has learnt to appreciate herself, she will leave him and he is completely on his own. One extreme manifestation of this aspect is the man who prides himself in his loneliness, even within a marriage with a woman whom he secretly hates. Only a woman who has not yet learnt to love herself and her own femininity will endure this kind of treatment. If she does, almost certainly, this is caused by the fact that she has the same kind of energy operating inside her. She does not like herself and that is the reason why she endures his treatment. Through the pain and suffering this causes both of them, something eventually has to give in their relationship.
The ideal solution would be if both found out – at the same time – what is operating within them. If they could then make the decision to each change themselves, so that their relationship will work, they would indeed have a chance to succeed. If this does not happen or if only one of partner becomes aware of what is amiss, their marriage is doomed. It will then be only a question of time when their ways will separate, for separate they must, if they want to put an end to the pain. The one who breaks free has to do so in spite of their deepest, innermost fears which Saturn always stirs up in us. Those who wish to grow and evolve, have to overcome these fears and look for a partner with whom it is possible to develop a conscious and loving relationship from which both will and can benefit, as is their birthright.
In spite of our modern declarations to the contrary, meaningful relationships – whether one calls them marriage or not – are of major importance in the life and growth of everybody’s psyche. This is not only because of the actual experience, but also because of the inner reality which marriage symbolises. When we look at mythology and folklore, for example the marriage of Sun and Moon, at every new moon, one begins to glimpse the importance to our human psyche of marriage, as a symbol of union and integration.
Mother Church As A Substitute For Relationships
It is not surprising then that even those who eschew relationships for religious reasons have to find a suitable psychological substitute. As a result, the nun becomes the bride of Christ, while the priest offers his services to Mother Church. It is in our relationships that we are most vulnerable, and that is why they are such invaluable tools for personal growth, evolution and self-understanding. The building of a relationship, based on true love and free choice, is the most valid and difficult path any one of us can choose to walk. It is far more demanding than the most abstruse esoteric disciplines could ever be. You can bet your bottom dollar on it that, where Saturn is involved, this is always the case.
The reason why I have done so much work on one single aspect is that my own life has been deeply affected by some of its most painful manifestations. I take comfort from the fact that the experts tell me that there is no other way. If we wish to reap its benefits and emerge victoriously at the other end of this long and dark tunnel, we have to walk through it. After all, we have been given the gift of a whole lifetime to do it in and it does help to know that eventually we shall get there, if we are willing to learn. We will then have learnt to love wisely, to love and respect ourselves, so that out of this the same for others and all of Creation can grow; that is a truly Saturnian gift. Saturn’s rewards are always great when they come, but our patience, endurance and perseverance are sure to be tried and tested, often to what seems like past breaking point. Saturn, old father time himself, teaches sterling qualities, but they have to be worked for.
It used to puzzle me that I almost always used to find this aspect in all its variations in practically every chart I ever worked with, until the reason for this finally dawned on me. It happens because we are magnetic beings, which means that at all times we attract people with similar energies into our orbit. As I have this operating inside me, each person I encountered along the way – like me – was trying to come to terms with this aspect. That, however, was not the only reason why I investigated it in such detail. More important to me still was that by doing the work this requires during this lifetime, my energies will change for good. This will set me free to meet those who also have learnt this lesson already. I hasten to add that this does not mean that I do not love those afflicted in the same way as myself. Of course, I do, but I cannot wait that different experiences can come into my life, that is all. And when you have digested the above, you will understand why and may well feel the same.
Having spent all of my present lifetime thus far with coming to terms with Saturn, I am willing to share with you what it has taught me, so that you can benefit from my growing pains, if you choose to. Last but not least, a word of thanks and appreciation to Liz Green for her book ‘Saturn – a New Look at an Old Devil’. It helped me more than anything else in coming to terms with what is operating inside me. However, people can only point us in the right direction. We can glean from their suggestions, but no-one can do the work for us and no matter what happens in our lives, we ourselves are the bottom line. No-one can wave a magic wand or take our work from us. Not for nothing is Saturn called the planet of Karma and redemption, in whose rule-book faking is not allowed. Most important of all it is to remind ourselves frequently that no-one can redeem us, except we ourselves. Each must walk their own way and learn their own lessons from their own experiences, especially when Saturn is the teacher.
This Astro File is loosely based on Liz Green’s excellent book ‘Saturn – A New Look at an Old Devil’.
Recommended Reading:
• ‘White Eagle On Saturn And Patience’
• Saturn As The Teacher And Rewarder’
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The above is part of ‘Everything That’s Worth Knowing About The True Meaning Of Saturn’
.If it has whetted your appetite to read more, please follow the link below:
‘Everything That’s Worth Knowing About The True Meaning Of Saturn’
